When I saw the movie We Need To Talk About Kevin
“We need to talk about Kevin”, it had a very strong impact. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a woman who we discover is a mother of a sociopath. Her son had always been unusual since birth and there really is no bond between them. Despite her attempts, he displays little emotion or affection, not seeming to care about the difference between right and wrong. They go on to have a very cold relationship and then one day, he goes on a killing spree at a local school.
The interesting thing about this movie is that it was filmed from the eyes of the killer’s mother. She too was a victim in their community, literally spit on by others after the incident. The movie suggests that he was born that way, and it was almost as if even the best parenting wouldn’t have changed who he was at his core. However, that is not how others see it.
You see this so much when a child or teen does something wrong. The first people to be blamed are the parents. If only they would have done things differently, tragedies never would have happened in the first place. This is such a prevalent thought pattern amongst people that you see it all the time when people post comments online to news articles, hiding behind their screen to judge and blame. Maybe I’ve been watching a bit too much Those Kinds of ThingsDexter, but I disagree that it is usually the parents fault.
Sure – there are exceptions, especially living in an era of prevalent violence. Kids can be easily influenced by things around them and parents are not around 24/7 to monitor everything that occurs in their world. Their friends play more of a role over time so you hope they will have good influences around. There is no disputing the fact though that this type of of violence seems to be unfortunately becoming much more commonplace in society and perhaps movies like could give them ideas if they are pre-disposed to be that way in the first place; the Columbine massacre, the Batman movie theatre shootings, and the most recent horrific massacre at an elementary school last week in Connecticut. It makes you wonder whether it is copy-cat behavior.
I believe that parents are unfairly judged as being a bad if they have a kid that didn’t turn out ideal. I think that some people are just plain luckier than others, having more challenging children to raise. Sometimes you can show all the love to them in the world, teach them manners, right from wrong, but they are still their own person and will make mistakes.It’s just that you as a parent may always be held accountable for their actions by bystanders. My friend’s husband is the nicest, kindest person who was the ideal child as well according to his parents, but his brothers were trouble and both ended up in and out of jail as adults. They were all raised in the same family. Siblings just turn out differently no matter how much you try.
If you have a little angel, you have won the kid lottery. However, the majority of people will have to hope that nothing tragic happens in their child’s adult life to make them to one to blame. Everybody hopes to have the ideal child, but what if your kid doesn’t turn out that way despite all your efforts?